Hermana Haynie ☀: September 15, 2013

And I am off to El Salvador! Well, not quite, but in less than 24 hours I will be there and I will have graduated the CCM! Woohoooo.

It was a truly wonderful last week here. Hermana Jackson arrived on Tuesday! We got to sit together for the devotional that night, and I see her around almost everyday. Hermana Behan got here the week before and I practically attacked her in the comedor I was so excited! They are both going to be such spectacular missionaries. The language is still coming along. We had to teach one of the new districts the other day in English , and as I was teaching one of the elders, the words felt so strange coming out of my mouth and it was so tricky to remember how to teach in English. Teaching in Spanish feels much more natural now, which I´m crossing my fingers is a good sign. I know the first few moments in El Salvador will prove how little Spanish I know. I am glad I can laugh at myself, because I think that´ll be happening a lot!

I think I have mentioned my teacher, Hermana Castellanos, but I failed to mention that he is a wizard! Not literally, but he just has such a way of helping each of us specifically and telling us things that we need to hear. I have been trying to figure out for myself how to become a more powerful teacher and how to know what exactly the Lord wants me to do. I had prayed a lot about it on Thursday night and hadn´t felt like I recieved an answer. I then realized that this was the first time I was asking the Lord to tell me what to do. Most of the time in my life, I would make a decision, then bring it to the Lord so I could either recieve comfort that my choice was the right one, or the other way around. This was the first time I had truly gone to the Lord asking Him to tell me what to do. I just didn´t really know how to recieve an answer to a prayer like that. Castellanos is very, very wise, so on Saturday I asked him about how to recieve answers to prayers. I told him what I had been trying to figure out, and consequentally, both of my companions and two of the elders were in the classroom too and had questions about the same thing. Castellanos told me to say a personal prayer outloud right in that moment, then open up my scriptures and my answer would be right in front of me. The Spirit was very present as he told me this. Before I prayed, he asked if I had faith that I would recieve an answer this way. I knew that I would. I prayed for myself in front of them, thanking my Heavenly Father for all the things He has blessed me with, then I pleaded with Him to help me and give me revelation as to what I needed to do. It was a really powerful experience and, of course, it took me awhile to get through my prayer because of the tears (Mom, I blame your side of the family for the tears that come so easily.) I ended my prayer and opened up my scriptures to Mark, chapter 11. Immediately 3 verses jumped out at me, the first being verse 22, saying ¨Have faith in God.¨ That verse hit me so hard. I then went on to read, ¨For verily I say unto you, That whatsoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things, which he saith shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye recieve them, and ye shall have them.¨ I got my answer. I needed to have faith in what He would do for me. I had faith in my Heavenly Father and the Savior and their power, but I didn´t have faith in myself. I had faith that they would do all these miracles for the people I would be teaching, but I was lacking in faith that they would do miracles for me and help me. I hope that I was able to convey the impact this experience has had on me. I know with all of my heart that the Savior lives. If we follow as best we can in His footsteps and follow the commandments He has so lovingly given us, He will perform miracles for us. Everytime the Savior healed someone, it was done according to their faith. We need to believe that He will do those things for us if we believe in Him. Like He said, ¨Be not afraid, only believe.¨

I´m sorry this got so lengthy, my heart is just bursting with love for my Father in Heaven and my Savior that I needed to share it with all of you!

One more quick little thought, then I promise I won´t be a bore anymore. I was reading today in Matthew chapter 14, and I came across the experience when Christ was walking on water. The end, when Peter joins Christ on the water, had never meant so much to me as it did today. When Peter asks Christ if he can come onto the water with Him, it reminded me of missionaries. We are essentially asking the Lord if we can join in His work. Christ told Peter to come to Him. This is like Christ´s invitation to us missionaries to follow him! Verse 30 then says, ¨But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?¨ Once again, I thought of missionaries. I am sure there will be times on my mission when I may feel like I´m sinking, or at least that´s what everyone warns me about, and I will ask the Lord to save me. Of course he will be there! He will always be there, if we have faith and rely on Him. He never abandons us. We are the ones that make decisions that move ourselves away from Him.

Once again, I sincerely apologize for the length of this email. Just know how happy and excited I am to be here! I am going to miss Mexico, but I am so grateful to have been able to be here. Especially sincetomorrow is their dia de indepencia, so they´ve had decorations up all week and tonight they are letting us stay up late to watch fireworks! Last night, these Mexican dancers came and put on a performance for us. It was so fun. All the Latinos love their country so much, it makes me love Mexico even more! I hope these emails will get more exciting for you once I get to El Salvador.. which will be TOMORROW!

I love this gospel. I love my Father in Heaven. I love my Savior, my best friend, Jesus Christ. And I love all of you! Continue to be your beautiful selves and I know that the Lord blesses us when we do what He has asked us to do.

Con todo el amor en mi corazon,

Hermana Haynie